Long sigh, long cry. I cannot distinguish the two. All of my certainty lies that I live my days in a dream state and all my nightmares know my name. Only I can save myself. Self-hatred can be released when I learn to love myself. Sorry "daddy" you may have taught me to have self hate but I can deconstruct and demolish that reality. As for my indecisiveness and uncertainty I should form pre-meditated plans and hold patience more often. The gender non-conformant and queer individual that I am is always thriving and evolving. The artist and poet are stuck, but keep trying despite all writer's blocks and adversity. As a sibling I love Kathy very